When the topic of courtesy was selected as the topic for this month, I thought that there would be quite a bit of information on the subject. As usual I went to the scriptures to find the verses that contain courtesy. As usual I go to my computer and get it to look up the scriptures that reference the word that I am looking for in this instance; courtesy. I got the following scriptures:

 

Acts 27:3

3 And the next day we touched at Sidon. And Julius courteously entreated Paul, and gave him liberty to go unto his friends to refresh himself.

 

Acts 28:7

7 In the same quarters were possessions of the chief man of the island, whose name was Publius; who received us, and lodged us three days courteously.

 

1 Peter 3:8

8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

 

Now I don't know about you but I could not get a whole talk around those verses. Next bet the dictionary. It describes courtesy as:

 

Courtesy : A polite act or considerate remark.

 

In searching the Ensigns for the last two years I could not find any articles referenced on courtesy. I figure that either courtesy is inherent in our lives and we know all about it or we must look at it from another angle. I remember in scouting we learned that a scout is courteous.

However ; what does it really mean to be courteous?

In boy scouts it was carrying the groceries across the street for an old lady, at least that was the example that was always used.

It can mean opening the door someone. Letting someone go first through the door. Its saying thank you when someone lets you go through the door first. Letting someone go first throught the intersection. It is moving into a slower lane when others want to pass. Its cleaning up after yourself in your house so that other family members are not inconvienced by your mess. Its leaving your campsite in better shape than you found it so that the next people can enjoy the beauty of nature without the ugly of waste.

I guess in essence it is the Golden Rule "doing unto others as you would have them do unto you". Most of us if pressed could come up with some very good definitions of what courtesy would mean to us. The Thesaurus suggests the following words for Courtesy : Considerate, Cordial, Mannerly, Respectful, Tactful, Chivalrous, Courtly, Gallant, Cultured, Fashionable, Genteel, Polished.

From that list one word seemed to have significant meaning to me. It appeared that respect for the Elderly was responsible for helping the little old ladies across the street. Respect for others in your family was responsible for you cleaning up after yourself, and respect for others made you change lanes even through it was not convienent, and respect for others got you to leave a clean campground.

As today is Fathers day I thought I would share two examples of respect relating to fathers, and one example of respecting ourselves. The first example shows that we can show respect for our Father in Heaven when we show respect for our eternal brothers and sisters.Its an example of a courtesy extended because one young man had been taught too respect his brother.

It was a scorching summer day, and the worn wooden bleachers at the ballpark were hot and splintery. I took a seat on the front row among the sparse but devoted fans who had shown up for the baseball game.

I watched as the pitcher, wound up and pitched the ball. I heard the crisp slap of leather against leather as the ball hit the catcher's mitt. "Strike!" yelled the umpire. All could see a quick smile on the pitchers face before he regained his look of deep concentration in preparation for the next pitch. Although this was just a game to most in the stands one could quickly see that it was serious business to the twelve-year-olds playing.

Again the chatter of the people in the stands was broken by the snap of the ball as it struck the catcher's mitt. "Strike two!" called out the Umpire. The team in the field seemed to ease up some cheered the pitcher on then began their usual hey batter chatter. This could be the second out, and the sweet feeling of victory was beginning to engulf their hearts. "Strike three!" yelled the umpire. The team was jubilant. One man left to bat and the victory was theirs.

Then Joey came out of the dugout. Joey had been born with Down's syndrome. He picked up the bat and walked over to home plate. The pitcher looked Joey over with great anxiety on his face. You see Joey was one of the Ryan the pitchers friends maybe Joeys only real friend, because as you know when one has a defect of some kind people can be cruel.

Joeys favorite sport was baseball. In fact he loved it so much that every day Joey came over to the Ryans' house to practice. They would throw the ball for hours it was good for Joey, as it was good practice for Ryan to have someone to pitch too. Ryan worked with Joey and showed him how to hold the bat and how to swing properly. They practiced for hours to perfect Joey's ability to hit the ball. If Ryan threw the ball slowly enough, Joey could hit it almost every time.

Now as Ryan stood on the mound he could hear over and over again Joey Saying "I can hardly wait until our team plays your team Ryan, I have never hit a ball in a game before, and I know that I can hit the ball if you are the pitcher". One could see the Ryan grow more and more uneasy on the mound. He wanted Joey to succeed by finally getting a hit in a game, but against him, he was not sure. Then there was the obligation to his team to pitch his best. Ryan knew Joey could never hit one of his fast pitches.

Ryan turned and looked at his teammates. They knew that Joey was an easy out&emdash;in fact, the third out. Ryan looked at his coach, who nodded back his encouragement. Hesitating for an instant, Ryan took off his hat and wiped the sweat from his forehead. Then he gazed intently at Joey. He took the ball in hand, wound up, and then gently lobbed the ball, carefully and slowly, just as they had practiced for weeks. Joey swung&emdash;and then, crack! It was a hit!

Joey was so shocked he just stood there looking at the ball. All of a sudden everyone, including the boys on the opposite team, started yelling, "Run, Joey!, Run" For a few moments, a boy's dream of hitting a ball became more important than an easy out.

Joey finally came out of shock and ran. By the time he safely made it to first base, the whole ballpark was cheering. The first baseman was jumping up and down with excitement. Several boys ran over and gave Joey a congratulatory pat on the back. The smile on his face could only be matched by the smile on Ryan's face. The respect that Ryan sought had come in a very unexpected way. He had learned that there was more than one way to win. You see Ryan showed respect for his brother and gained respect from his peers, and I'm sure made his earthly father and his Heavenly Father very proud.

 

Lehis' Journey

Now example number showing respect for our earthly father.

It is interesting to note how the Book of Mormon starts out probably much the same way that most of the difficult tasks that must be done around our house start out (with a little murmurming), but it also illustrates Respect for our Earthly Father.

If we were living in the days of Lehi about 600 years before the birth of the Savior and could have gotten up close to the courtyard of Lehis' home we might have heard a conversation something like this.

Mother (they showed a little more respect for their parents in those days so they probably would have used mother instead of just MOM" where is father? Is he out prophesying again? Doesn't he know that the people don't really care? People don't like to be told that they are wrong all the time and that if they do not repent, the Lord would permit the Babylonians to destroy their city and carry them off into slavery.. I'm hungry and sure wish that he would get home soon.

Slowly entering the courtyard we can see Lehi enter from another day about the Lords errand, he is bleeding just a little under his right eye. As Sariah rushes over to ask what has happened; Lehi explains that he was hit by a rock as he was prophesying outside the city wall this afternoon.

Sariah announces that dinner is ready and helps Lehi clean up for dinner. It seems like any usual evening dinner for the family of Lehi. The family discusses many of the more trivial aspects of the day; then Lehi says that he has been instructed of the Lord that Jerselam will be destroyed and that he must take his family into the wilderness. Now I was not there but I am sure that you could have heard the jaws of Laman and Lemuel hit the table. Proably just like in your home when Dad announces that the family is doing something together when everyone else has something already planned. After Laman and Lemuel expressed their desire not too leave their home, friends and that it just doesn't sound like fun they did show enough respect for their father that they did go.

They were obedient to the Lord and left the city at once, leaving behind them all of their property, their gold and silver and other precious things. They took only tents in which to live, and provisions, so that they would not be hungry in the wilderness.

They traveled for three days to the shores of the Red Sea. There they pitched their tents in a valley, by the side of a river. Lehi then built an altar and made an offering to the Lord to thank him for saving their lives.

If it was not enough to take them into the desert leaving behind the luxuries of life; now they must take the journey back to Jersusalem to get the plates of brass. Although they do murmur they once again obey their fathers command out of respect and go get the plates of Laban.

Now one more additional trial was asked by their father; to go back to the city once again and get the daughters of Ishmael...

Now I don't know about you but if your Father told you he had seen a vision that your family was to go live out desert of southern Utah (about 200 miles away). That we were going to walk there. When we got there we had a hard time finding food and when we did it was not like we were used to (we had to eat rattlesnake and rabbit). Then we had to make a trip back to Salt Lake City to get a book from a man that would want to kill us. Then to no sooner do we get back to camp and to have to go again to Salt Lake City...would you still respect him enough to follow or would you choose to stay behind.

Laman and Lemuel are always pointed to as ones whose lives we do not want to emulate; but I suppose we should ask ourselves that if many of us were in the same situtation would we be even be as stalwart as Laman and Lemuel? Would we go and do the things which our father had commanded even if we mumbled a little and grumbled a lot.

I suppose that most fathers would feel happy on this Fathers day if their children decided out of respect for their Father this year that they would be like Nephi " and go and do the things that their Father has commanded" without complaining... and if your not ready to be a Nephi at least go and get the job done, don't return until it is finished even if you must murmur a little do it under your breath. But get the job done.

 

 

Thirdly, in order to show respect for others I think that one must acquire that respect for themself, or in the words of Shakespeare "To thine own self be true".

In the life of one of the greatest soldiers that the world has ever known we can see the results of respect for oneself, and the contrast of losing ones self respect.

After the assassination of Julius Caesar, the world was divided into two great war camps, one led by the conspirators under Brutus, and the other led by Octavius Caesar and Mark Antony, a friend of Julius Caesar. During the long, hard war that followed, Mark Antony distinguished himself as the greatest soldier in the world. "Armed with his convincing speech, the power of his logic, the courage of his leadership, and his own self discipline, he swept everything before him. He took upon himself the hardest tasks with the most wondrous good cheer. He lived for weeks on a diet of insects and the bark of trees. And he won the unquestioned loyalty of his men, the acclaim of the people, the support of Octavius, and his own self-confidence and self-respect."

Opposed by such dedication and skill, the enemy generals one by one soon began dropping out of the fight. And when the war was won, Mark Antony stood where the great Julius Caesar had once stood as the master of the world. But when the need for struggle had passed, Mark Antony became idle, and idleness accounts for some of life's most tragic failure stories.

Mark Antony went to Egypt where he fell in love with the bewitching queen, Cleopatra. He became a victim of the soft luxury, perfumed elegance, and immorality of the Egyptian court. His great mind became clouded by the fumes of wine, and he became what Plutarch referred to as a "Fishing-rod general." As Mark Antony abandoned his better self he lost the loyalty of his men, the acclaim of the people, the support of Octavius, and his own self-respect. Finally a guard of soldiers was sent to take Mark Antony into custody and bring him back to Rome in chains.

It didn't require an army to overcome Mark Antony now. Just a handful of the meanest soldiers was all that was necessary. However, Mark Antony avoided arrest by thrusting a dagger into his own heart, and as he lay dying he recounted to Cleopatra that there had been no power in the world sufficient to overthrow him, except his own power. He said, "Only Antony could conquer Antony." And then as he contemplated the arrival of the Roman soldiers and thought of the awful disgrace that he had brought upon his country and the shame and humiliation that he had caused his family, he made his last speech, which William Haines Lytle has translated into verse, in which Antony says to Cleopatra:

 

Let no Caesar's servile minions

Mock the lion thus laid low;

'Twas no foreman's arm that fell'd him,

'Twas his own that struck the blow;

His who, pillow'd on thy bosom,

Turn'd aside from glory's ray,

His who, drunk with thy caresses,

Madly threw a world away.

 

"Antony and Cleopatra," The Best

Loved Poems of the American

People, comp. Hazel Felleman,

Garden City, New York: Doubleday & Company, 1936, p.203.

 

Mark Antony had held securely in his hands the control of an entire world, and there was no one upon the earth with sufficient power to take it from him except himself. But every one of us has within his reach a world that is far more significant than the world which belonged to Mark Antony. There is no power in the universe that can come between us and the celestial kingdom, except our own power. Only Antony can conquer Antony.